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It’s 5 solutions to 5 questions. Here we go…

1. Interviewing with a service dog in my lap

I’ve a job interview this Thursday! I haven’t actually labored since March 2020, so that is my first time in any form of skilled atmosphere since changing into a service dog consumer.

My dog is educated to alert me for anxiousness so I can redirect earlier than a panic assault, and to intervene by distracting me when I’m having a panic assault. He’s underneath 20 kilos, and I’m more comfy dealing with him by sporting him in a child sling or sitting him in my lap than having him on a leash. This technique has obtained blended reactions, and I do fear about the way it will impression my showing “professional” for the interview, but it surely’s what works greatest for me.

The interview was scheduled by way of the applying portal, so I haven’t actually talked to anybody there, however I’ve an electronic mail deal with. Should I contact that individual to allow them to know forward of time that I’ll have my service dog with me for the interview? If so, what particulars ought to I embrace?

Is it “I’m more comfortable with him in my lap, but it’s workable to have him on a leash next to me for an hour” or is it “he needs to be in my lap or a sling to do his job”? If it’s an choice to have him subsequent to you throughout the interview somewhat than in your lap or a sling, I’d attempt to do this for the interview for those who can.

Whether or not this ought to be the case, realistically it’s seemingly that having a dog in your lap or in a sling might be distracting to your interviewers. People might be /interested by the dog while you need them targeted on your solutions and {qualifications}, and you’re more likely to run into individuals who see the set-up more as “candidate cuddling a dog” than as “candidate accompanied by a service animal.” I wish to stress, I’m not saying that’s honest or proper — it’s simply the fact you’re going to be dealing with.

If having him on a leash isn’t an possibility, then the most effective factor you are able to do is to simply be up-front about it forward of time in an electronic mail: “I wanted to mention that I’ll be accompanied by a service dog and he’ll be on my lap during the interview (the set-up that works best for my medical needs).” If a leash is an possibility, you need to use that very same primary formulation (“just a heads-up that I’ll have my service dog with me”) — brief, matter-of-fact, and FYI-ish. That manner they will regulate in advance something which may must be adjusted (for instance, in case your interviewer is allergic or afraid of canines, they may select to do the interview remotely or so forth).

2. My boss thinks I’m a stoner as a result of I called out on 4/20

I’m a very boring man in a very boring job. We’re in a kind of industries that will get used for example of the place you possibly can’t have uncommon hair or piercings or present any indicators of persona, and even inside that business I’m in an space that’s notably notable for being staid and intensely respectable. And that’s precisely the place I belong! Look up “square” in the dictionary and you can find a image of me. I’m additionally a part of a faith that eschews alcohol, tobacco, and all unlawful or semi-legal medicine, even caffeine. I obtained provided an opiate drug as soon as for medical causes and I declined it as a result of I didn’t wish to get even a medically prescribed excessive. I’ll suck the life out of any occasion I contact. I wouldn’t even know the place or methods to purchase pot if for some purpose I made a decision I needed to do this.

But yesterday was 4/20, and I awakened feeling decidedly underneath the climate. As quickly as I noticed that going to work wasn’t a good concept, I shot my boss an electronic mail that I used to be taking the time off and went straight again to mattress. After a day and night time spent resting and typically taking excellent care of myself, I awakened feeling refreshed and a lot improved, sufficient to return to work.

My boss can be fairly the sq., however he’s at the very least culture-savvy sufficient to have heard of “420.” And so after all after I made it to the workplace, his first query was whether or not I loved (wink wink) my time off. It obtained laughs from the remainder of the workforce, and initially I laughed too, for the reason that considered super-square me calling out of labor to do medicine was probably the most ridiculous factor I’d ever heard of. I denied it, after all, and figured my lingering scratchy voice would set up that sure, I’d really been feeling sick. But I suppose an altered voice can be a potential indicator of getting smoked? Later in the day, my boss pulled me apart to ask in an emphatic tone if I used to be dealing with any new stressors, and to reiterate that he had a nice deal of belief in my professionalism and hoped I’d proceed upholding that belief. I used to be confused and requested if something in my work had given him trigger for concern, and he famous that I ought to have waited for the weekend if I needed to indulge myself. He informed me he wasn’t going to formally ask me something on the report as a result of if I really had executed that, he didn’t wish to formally learn about it, however he hoped I’d make higher selections in the long run.

I don’t know what to do about this! I do know that protesting too vigorously simply reinforces an impression of guilt, however I genuinely didn’t really feel properly and dealt with it in a completely skilled method — that it occurred to happen on a day famous for indulgence was a coincidence. How do I repair this with my boss with out simply reinforcing my guilt? I didn’t go to a physician so I don’t have a physician’s observe to offer, simply a reliance on my personal historical past of professionalism. Pointing out that my boss is accusing me of violating the precepts of my faith looks as if a non-starter; that strikes me as more of an escalation than the rest. I simply wish to put this ridiculous notion to mattress.

Your boss is being extremely bizarre! People get legitimately sick on 4/20, simply as they get sick on the Friday earlier than a vacation weekend, and the day a actually boring coaching session is scheduled, and different days which may appear to be wins to get to overlook. But his conclusion is especially bizarre as a result of he is aware of you. Like you someway went from being straight-laced and eschewing caffeine to skipping work to blaze one up? (I really marvel in case your boss is equally straight-laced and simply … doesn’t perceive a lot about how this works.)

Anyway, I believe you may simply let this go if you wish to. Alternately, although, you may say to him, “I can’t stop thinking about what you said about my sick day last week. I’m pretty dismayed that you would think that — I don’t even drink caffeine and I’m certainly not calling out sick to get high. Were you just joking?”

3. Asking my workplace to unblock an “adult content” web site

My workplace wifi blocks sure web sites – porn, torrents, issues like that. I’m completely high-quality with that, because it’s all stuff I agree we shouldn’t be looking whereas at work. But I additionally wish to learn Autostraddle.com, which is a lesbian tradition and life-style web site, and that’s blocked by the filter as “adult content”. While there are articles about intercourse and different grownup subjects, these are by no means graphic – I’m principally simply there to examine queer TV exhibits! I’d wish to learn it on my breaks, however I’d have to make use of my telephone’s information plan which is fairly restricted.

I can ask IT about eradicating it from the filter, and I’m fairly assured it wouldn’t be a difficulty. But what’s holding me again is that it’s very a lot not needed for my work, and our IT division is all straight cis males – I’m a little uncomfortable about approaching them to take this seemingly “adult” web site off the blacklist. I suppose I’m in search of assist with a script. How do I ask these guys with a minimal of awkwardness?

Autostraddle doesn’t look notably “adult” at first look, at the very least not in the sense that’s normally meant, so I believe you may simply say, “I think our filter is mistakenly blocking Autostraddle. I like to read their TV recaps on my breaks — any chance you can unblock it?”

4. Asking to maintain my software confidential

I’m job looking, and want to apply for a function at a firm that has shut ties to my present office (together with a senior chief at my present job who sits on a volunteer committee for the corporate I’m making use of to.)

I’m very involved about my search getting again to somebody in my present firm. I do know it’ll instantly flip into gossip and seemingly end result in me being let go earlier than I’m prepared as a consequence of some restructuring.

Can I say one thing in my cowl letter like, “Given the close ties between Company A and Company B, I would like to request my application be kept confidential from anyone at Company A”? Or is that more likely to get my software thrown in the trash? If it’s okay to explicitly request confidentiality, any solutions for the precise wording?

You can, however don’t rely simply on that. Cover letters generally get separated from resumes after the preliminary display, and some hiring managers don’t learn them in any respect (or simply skim, or don’t retain what they learn). So in addition to the observe there, you need to name your most dependable contact on the firm (or the hiring supervisor herself), say you’re making use of for a place there and wish to make sure that they may hold it confidential since your present employer doesn’t know you’re trying. Have a actual dialog with them, since that’s probably to stay.

5. Asking for more trip time as a substitute of a elevate

Yearly opinions are arising. If I get provided a elevate, is it affordable to ask for more PTO as a substitute? Not that I don’t need more cash, I simply suppose more PTO could be more beneficial to me as a result of I like to make use of PTO with my vital different and he has more than me.

Yes! Some corporations will negotiate PTO and some gained’t, but it surely’s a factor that occurs and is cheap to ask about. You may say, “At this point what would be most valuable to me and keep me the happiest would be additional PTO. Would you be willing to give me an additional week of vacation time in place of the raise?” If they agree, be sure you get it in writing.

But first, do the maths. If you suppose they’d be seemingly to provide you an additional week however your elevate is more than a week’s pay, you may be higher off accepting the elevate and asking about taking some unpaid break day.

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