It’s 4 solutions to 4 questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker wants me to lock up my dogs so he can come to parties at my home

I’m a college professor, and I’ve a drawback with a member of my division, Paul.

I noticed that a lot of my mates with younger kids or elder-care tasks are struggling to socialize and I wasn’t getting to see them as usually as I appreciated. So final 12 months, I began a custom the place each month, my companion and I host a Sunday evening dinner that’s an open-house affair. I make a lot of meals and invite all my mates. Kids are welcome, live-in family are welcome, houseguests are welcome; we simply make room. Numerous my mates are fellow professors (some from my division, others not) and about a quarter to a third of the division comes to the occasion usually.

The solely stipulation is I’ve two giant, candy, well-trained dogs and I’ve made it recognized that I received’t shut them away for the occasion, even when somebody has allergic reactions or phobias. They are a part of my household. They are very social and hate to be away from me and my companion if we’re dwelling. (Others are welcome to carry their dogs with them and normally one or two do.)

Paul and I are pleasant, however we’re not shut. Some time in the past I invited Paul to dinner and gave him a heads-up that we had giant dogs. Paul indicated that was positive, however when he confirmed up at our home he was clearly afraid of the dogs and was impolite about them after they approached him to sniff and greet him. We put them in one other room and they made their nice unhappiness about this recognized. If Paul had simply stated that he wasn’t a canine fan, I might have made a dinner reservation some place else. The entire incident soured me on Paul a little. I’m well mannered and pleasant with Paul and usually discover myself agreeing with him about division points, pedagogy, and so forth, however haven’t made a lot of an effort to be his outside-work good friend since then.

Anyway, Paul is fairly socially awkward, he is not too long ago divorced, and I feel he’s making an attempt to make an effort to get out of the home more and make more mates. He approached me to ask if he may come to the following open home. I stated in fact he was welcome, however warned him that the dogs might be roaming, and most likely not simply my two. He texted me later to ask me to please take into account shutting them away for the evening and asking others not to carry theirs.

I actually don’t need to do that, and technically this isn’t a work occasion. Part of me thinks Paul ought to begin his personal no-dogs-allowed open home if that’s the occasion he wants. But I really feel a little dangerous for Paul and I don’t need to appear unwelcoming to a individual I’ve to work with on a regular basis. How ought to I reply?

Since these are informal, non-work-sponsored occasions, you don’t want to lock your dogs away if you happen to don’t need to. If you have been, say, the pinnacle of the division, you’d want to rethink these occasions (not that you just’d essentially want to lock your dogs up if you happen to didn’t need to, however then you need to at least maintain more occasions outdoors your own home, since if you happen to’re the boss, the dynamics are completely different). But that’s not the case right here. It could be a kindness to take into account doing it a number of the time, however you don’t have to.

If you need to inform Paul no, you could possibly say, “The dogs don’t do well when they’re locked up, unfortunately. But if you want to plan something that’s dog-free, I’d love to attend!”

If you’re up for it, it might even be form to provide to do one thing away out of your dog-inhabited home with Paul, like dinner out or comparable. You don’t have to try this, however it might be a considerate gesture towards somebody who appears to need to socialize (and together with that provide in your reply in regards to the dogs could be a means to soften it).

Also, don’t maintain Paul’s earlier concern of the dogs in opposition to him! Who is aware of why he thought he’d be positive however then wasn’t — perhaps one thing about your dogs specifically made him uncomfortable (like measurement or a particular habits) or perhaps he was simply overly optimistic about how comfy he’d be, however I’m positive he didn’t set out to intentionally deceive you when he agreed to come over.

2. My employer wants me to donate the proceeds of my e book to them

I work for a library that’s structured as a nonprofit. I’m co-writing a e book on a side of youth librarianship. I don’t have a ton of expertise on this space, so my contribution to the e book might be primarily analysis, composing, and modifying primarily based. However, there are some aspects of my job that I’ll focus on within the e book. I introduced up this side-writing with the library’s authorized workforce. After some constructive and supportive again and forth, I simply acquired an e mail in regards to the battle of curiosity coverage and not engaged on the e book on library time. That all is smart.

However, the e-mail ended with, “In the interest of avoiding the appearance of a conflict based on financial gain, we ask that any author compensation arising out of your work on the book be donated to the library. To that end, please keep Legal apprised of any compensation you receive, if and when that occurs.” This doesn’t sit properly with me. Is this regular? I couldn’t discover something on-line. I keep in mind your posts about worker giving drives at universities and donating Vegas winnings, however this appears completely different?

I’m anticipating the amount of cash to be a couple thousand over perhaps two years. I’d truthfully moderately give to one other nonprofit, if it’s untoward/unethical/not well worth the hassle for me to maintain the cash myself.

No, this isn’t regular or affordable. It’s additionally nonsensical — if you happen to can’t work on the e book on work time (which makes excellent sense), on what grounds do they suppose they’re entitled to what you earn for it? I assume they’d attempt to argue that your job with them is what led to you being in a place to co-author the e book — however that’s true of many, many issues that lead to folks writing books, and it doesn’t mechanically entitle their employers to these proceeds.

I might reply, “Since I will be doing it on my own time and not as a representative of the library, I wouldn’t agree to a requirement to donate what I’m paid for outside work (just as I assume we don’t ask that of people doing other types of freelance projects) but the rest of this agreement looks good to me.”

3. How can I clarify to coworkers that I’m working from dwelling as a medical lodging?

I’m having some hassle with coworkers who maintain asking me once I’m coming into the workplace. I’ve a everlasting work-from-home association as a medical lodging, and I actually respect it. It works properly for me and permits me to be productive and wholesome.

For instance, I would like to lie down incessantly, even typically throughout conferences. I would like pure gentle, not overhead lights. The open workplace plan places me in a fixed state of pressure and alertness that isn’t at all conducive to work. I’m additionally at excessive threat for COVID issues, and so I put on a masks nonetheless in public locations which is tiring, too. It isn’t one particular factor however moderately the mix that’s the drawback.

Do you might have a easy script I can use to deflect questions from my coworkers about once I’m coming into the workplace? I do know they’re simply being pleasant, however I discover it troublesome to clarify my medical situations to them and really feel awkwardly evasive once I don’t. My commute is trivial so that’s not a good deflection, and I don’t need to be often known as fragile. I would really like to give you the chance to politely clarify my state of affairs with out going into an excessive amount of element.

“I’m permanently remote.” That’s it! You don’t want to clarify why. If somebody expresses shock (which they undoubtedly would possibly, particularly if they’ve been advised nobody can work remotely), you can say, “It’s a medical accommodation.” You don’t want to clarify more than that. It’s unlikely anybody will ask for medical specifics but when they do, that’s a actual overstep and you can merely say, “Oh, nothing I want to get into at work, thanks for understanding.”

4. Recruiter falsified employment dates earlier than sending a resume to an employer

My husband was contacted by a recruiter about a job that looks like a good match. The recruiter set him up with a first spherical interview with the employer, and then texted my husband to say, “By the way, I changed the end date of your last employment to current, otherwise the employer probably would have passed.” He has not been working for nearly a 12 months, and apparently the recruiter was fearful that this might look dangerous.

Now my husband has an interview set up however solely belatedly discovered that the employer has a copy of his resume that incorrectly states his expertise. What ought to he do? Send a corrected model? Just depart it and clarify in the event that they ask? Complicating issues, he was fired from his final job due to a mismatch in expertise and poorly communicated expectations on the a part of his outdated supervisor— he has a solution prepared to clarify this however would favor not to draw consideration to it. What is the suitable transfer right here?

That recruiter was wildly out of line … and in his misguided try to get your husband employed may finish up torpedoing his possibilities. What does he suppose will occur if/when the employer does a background test and uncovers the lie?

In reality, that may be a good query to your husband to pose to the recruiter — “How do you suggest I handle it if we get to the background check stage?”

He may additionally ask if the recruiter expects him to lie within the interview. Does he need him to discuss his job within the current tense and make up some BS about why he’s enthusiastic about leaving the “current” job? That’s not one thing he ought to do.

Beyond that, his most secure plan of action is just not to proactively point out it to the interviewers, but additionally not to lie in regards to the dates or suggest that he’s nonetheless at the outdated job when he’s not. If he’s requested about why the resume says he is, he can clarify he’s undecided what the recruiter despatched however in actual fact he left that job final 12 months. And he shouldn’t work with this recruiter once more; somebody who’s prepared to be shady to his shoppers (the people who find themselves paying him!) might be prepared to be shady in his dealings together with your husband too.